Friday, January 7, 2011

Yesterday I woke up sucking on a lemon.

During the past year, I’ve somehow organically transformed from a once ambivalent agnostic into a full-on raging atheist. I’m not sure how this change came about (getting lectured by a Bible thumping acquaintance of mine didn’t help) but now that it’s there, I have found that don’t ever want to pretend to be interested in religion ever again. I used to pay lip service to peoples testimonials of the power of their faith but these days, I just can’t seem to stomach them anymore. I think that God is a man-made poison.

I don’t know if there is some kind of mental level of tolerance which, once full, can no longer hold anymore room for charity but for me, the mouth of that cup seems to have overflowed. These days, I get extremely annoyed when people just assume outright with no thought or question that I’m a religious person. When this happens, I want to tell them that to me, mystifying nature is to take away the power of its awesome energy. To me, any attempt to gloss over the universe and ascribe its creation and maintenance to an unseen being who lives in the sky is an insult to all the greatness that there is to study and behold.

To paraphrase most people’s belief system, it’s like someone saying, “Quantum physics is hard and stuff so there must be some kind of a wizard out there who’s been pulling the strings and if you don’t believe in Him then you’re going to die alone and your soul is going to be devoured by a lizard man from a Black Sabbath album cover, LOL.” Or, biblically speaking (Heb 11:1) "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."

What the shit is that? Why would anyone think that and what’s more, why can’t I tell a person who spouts off this insane and insulting tripe that I just don’t agree with their horseshit and that it also pisses me off to be told that they in turn think that my entire existence is damned just because my mind doesn’t function at their level of dumb? I mean, Jesus freaks get mad when you bad mouth their water-walking savior so why can’t people like me get defensive about all the mysteries of science being desecrated by some self-righteous and pedantic fairy tale? It’s nothing more than a double standard. If you insult a person’s faith, you are disrespecting their freedom of religion but if they insult your evidence-based outlook on the world, they are just representing their cultural views and you should STFU, heretic.

I don’t feel like playing this game anymore.

Look, I realize that I’m fighting an uphill battle here and honestly, I don’t really care what most people choose to believe or don’t believe. The only problem that I have is when people automatically assume that I share the same religious foundations as them and then can’t accept it when I tell them otherwise. If they chose to try to convert me, then as far as I’m concerned, I’m entitled to make a likewise effort. If then, neither of us can get past our differences and get on with our friendship without having to use God as a crutch to define our relationship then I’m sure that I’m not going to ever regret parting ways. As a bunch of bearded misogynist once said in Proverbs 18:24, “There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”

Whatever happens, and however I may feel about other people’s faith in God, I’m sure that my own personal beliefs are just as important as their own. That’s why no pastor and no Bible study will ever convert me. I’ve looked into myself and this is what I’ve found. If, by chance I may someday uncover a lost deity or maybe some other kind of nebulous spiritual enlightenment while poking around in my head, I’ll be sure to let everyone know that I’ve suddenly become all fucked up and retarded.


  1. I agree, to each their own. Honestly it's like candy in a candy store of religions and I haven't really found a flavor I feel suitable for. I just go with what I feel like and sounds to me like you are going with your gut. And your gut knows when it's time to spew and when it's not.

    I am on the fence about all things these days second guessing myself and decisions, but as long as Im comfortable with them and my children are cool with it, then I am too.

    Funny, I have been asked to do more spiritual smudging from friends and coworkers lately. I may not be religious but I am spirtual and I think those are all totally different.

  2. Having been raised in a very strict fairy tale of a religion, I can honestly say that breaking out of it and repairing the damage has been a decades long battle. I really try to not get angry about it anymore, but sometimes I can't help it. It was a lot of wasted time.

  3. And yes, I agree, MistressMadamX.. religion and spirituality are completely different!!

  4. Anger is a great force for knocking people off the fence of agnosticism.

    I was raised as an atheist and have found myself turning into an agnostic. Within the next decade, I plan on becoming devoutly Catholic. I thank my parents.

  5. It's not God with whom I have a problem with. It's the idiotic assertions and assumptions people make about God, whether God exists or not, that make me want to go all stabby on a crowded church on Sunday.

    As Mistress Madam X said, "to each their own." Exactly. I believe God is too fucking hard for us silly little humans to comprehend, so shut the fuck up about how something so unknown has filled your quaint, pathetic little hearts.

    I'm going to stream some German porn now. Bye.

  6. Humanity's brain are running Windows 95. While the rest of the universe operates on quantum computing.

  7. I have taken up the position that there may or may not be a God. I'm okay with that ambiguity.

    If there IS a supreme being/force, then it would have to be too huge for any puny human to ever comprehend. Anyone who claims to know what God thinks or wants is full of crap.